Last autumn, as the leaves began to turn in Vermont, Romaine and I journeyed north to Tunbridge for the second year in a row to meet up with friends at the Vermont Sheep and Wool Festival. We arrived without a project in mind, but luckily, our friend Kara (a seasoned knitter) brought us to the Junction Fiber Mill booth because she knew she wanted some yarn from them. Their booth was buzzing, filled with folks snapping up special-edition yarns. One of the owners had a chic little red scarf tied jauntily around her neck, and I was intrigued. After inquiring about it, she graciously shared that it was the very famous Sophie Scarf and said it was beginner-friendly. We all gathered around her and gushed (dramatically, as we do), and each picked a color that resonated with us. We vowed to learn how to knit matching Sophie scarves and left feeling inspired—excited to learn a new skill.

I threw us into a group chat to get this knit night going and invited folks over to our home, Chez Kim-Martin, for the first knit night. We began meeting regularly, taking turns hosting between our and Remy and Alain’s place. We all love to cook and share food, so the knit nights have become themed food evenings (see below for examples), followed by knitting, joking, chatting, and lots of laughing. We all began at different knitting levels, but it’s been so fun to see everyone grow their skills, make progress on various projects, and cheer each other on as we finish new pieces. I find great comfort in the intimate and regular nature of these gatherings. I love that this container has helped me deepen a few relationships that I’m not sure I would have been able to build without these evenings.

I’m a firm believer in investing in and building meaningful relationships as adults. We can build our own community, and it’s a practice we must continually engage in because our lives are continually evolving. And while theoretically building a friendship or relationship may seem simple, it can be daunting for oh-so-many reasons: it is work and requires effort from both parties; the fear of rejection is real (but the worst thing someone can say is no); and we’re so, so busy. But I choose to believe in what’s possible, and actively work to build the life I want.

I want to encourage you—put yourself out there, ask someone into your life!

How to Host a Knit Night: Tips & Learnings

Here are my tips and learnings from hosting knit nights. I hope this encourages you to host your own knit (or any activity you want) night and build intentional community. Let me know how it goes in the comments below or on socials.

Communication Is Key for a Successful Knit Night

Group text strategy: We communicate via a group text and use this group chat solely for communicating about knit nights and sharing progress on our projects.

Clear expectations: The host needs to explicitly communicate logistics (date, time, location), and expectations (what guests bring, wear, do).

Choose the Right Venue

Rotating homes: We split hosting duties between two locations that make sense for us.
Alternative venues: If you don’t have space in your home, try hosting at local maker spaces, bars, or community rooms. Do your research!

Food Ideas and Themes

One of the easiest ways to make a knitting night feel special is by centering it around shared food.

The host picks a theme: Everyone contributes a dish and wine to share. Planning a menu can be stressful, so I find having a theme and letting the guests collaborate around it keeps menu planning fun. We discuss the menu via group text, and folks will volunteer a dish they want to make. We are not at all strict about the themes because the goal is for everything to be fun. Our group happens to love cooking, and everyone is good at deciding and delegating what they want to make.
Give ample prep time: Determine the theme or menu with several days (at least four) of lead time so folks have time to plan, grocery shop, and actually cook.
No cook options: If you’re not into cooking, great! Bring a store-bought dish, wine/drinks, or order in. We’ve had a pizza-night knit night, which was so fun because we just showed up to knit.
Some of our knit night themes: No cook knit night, where we ordered pizza; brown food day; taco night, where I showed up on the wrong day with a tres leches cake; tapas night, where I made Fizzy Lillies; Greek night; bibimbap night; fondue night; and here’s one from cribbage night—Spaghetti and meatballs along with my recipe.

How to Be a Gracious Guest

RSVP: Be communicative, prompt, and honest with your RSVP.
Respect others’ time: Show up (on time), bring something to contribute, and have fun!
Be gracious: An expression of gratitude goes a long way.
Shared responsibilities: Hosting is a lot of work. We honor our hosts by making sure that everyone is chipping in and distributing the work by bringing food, setting up, and cleaning. Being conscientious goes a long way in relationship building.

Discuss Group Dynamics and Boundaries

Discuss with the group: We’ve had to have some group discussions, especially about letting people into the group: What’s the max number of people? Can we bring visitors? What is the format of our meals?
Decide together: We chatted through these questions together before making decisions. We ultimately decided to keep our group intimate, but whoever is hosting has the option to invite an additional guest once in a while.